I didn’t know whether to cry or to bust out laughing! *True Story*

May 14, 2012

Ok, So this actually happened to me.. about an hour ago.

I about died.

OK – So Andrew was playing downstairs.  Ethan (my 18mo) was playing on the floor in the upstairs living room.  He started getting cranky so I picked him up.

Just as I bent down to get him- I see this grungy looking guy running across my lawn out of the corner of my eye – running towards my door.

I freaked.

Two seconds later, a THUMP on my glass storm door.  I started running for the back sliding glass door but picked my cell phone up along the way and started to dial 911.

I dropped Ethan outside on the deck so I could see what was going on – I’m worried about my 3yo downstairs!

I didn’t hear anything else (the phone is still ringing and then 911 put me on hold… serious.) so I peeked out the window.

The guy is running down the other side of our yard and jumps into this [what I call] “Scary Van” (you know, the ones with no windows..) that was spray-painted black and red.  He JUMPED into the back as it drove by and the door remained open.  I’m trying to get a glimpse of the license plate as it’s driving down the street.

911 finally answers, as I’m walking to the door – thinking, ‘what the heck did he throw at my door’… I started explaining to her that I think I’m OK…

and I open the door up…

Guess what’s there?

A PHONE BOOK.  A Freaking Phone Book – made me call 911.

I seriously am going to call someone about this, but I don’t know who.  They need to have a better system for this than running through yards and driving scary vans, freaking mothers alone with their children out.

I was even more scared because about 5 minutes earlier I had gone to get the mail, and didn’t remember locking the door after I came back in.


Anyway – Super Funny, Right?


  1. I would have freaked too. Good for you for being alert even if it was a false alarm. Why do we have phone books anymore anyway? Everyone at least has the internet if not a smart phone to boot!

  2. Carolyn Ann Colley (Griffith, Smith) says:

    Glad he just wanted to give you a phone book, I’m with you scary but funny.

  3. Wow! Definitely funny, but very scary. I can’t imagine living where I have t9 lock the doors behind me when leaving 9r once in the house. I can’t even remember the last time we locked all the doors at the same time if ever.

  4. OMG! I’m so sorry, I just read this to my hubby and even though I’m giggling, I totally know what you mean, I would have been freaking out too and probably would have grabbed the kids and hid under the bed lol! What in the world are they thinking!?

  5. Oh no! I totally would do that, it’s the mommy instincts. 🙂

  6. Not funny! You reacted well. I would have went into a panic attack and not done anything. Wow, do some deep breathing to relax. Definitely call your local phone company and ask for the service they contracted to deliver phone books. I’ve always been low income and I will admit I had to deliver phone books when times were tough (we have to provide for our children, right?) Our rules were to never walk let alone run through any yards. To quietly set the book down etc
    Gladys P

  7. Sarah L says:

    Ouch! I think it’s more scary than funny. You took the right actions and a call to the phone book company is in order

  8. Ashley E. says:

    Lol! This didn’t end the way I expected!! Our phone books are left at the end of our driveway by the mailbox!! I would have been freaked too but I am someone that ALWAYS locks all the doors. Even when just letting the dog in and out! Glad you are all safe and it was just a phone book!

  9. Yikes… not funny!! I would have nightmares for a week. Thank goodness everything turned out ok

  10. Good thing this ended well. Guess you will really be the “talk” of the town for a while? *giggle

    Oh my I would have been shaking in my boots. You know they sometimes hire college kids or younger people to do this service and probably are in a hurry to get the job done. G’Lord! Funny

  11. Vickie Couturier says:

    he is lucky he wasnt in my yard doing that,he would have been SHOT! im a grandma who has a gun permit an knows how to use my little gun,,,that is way more than stupid,you need to call the city hall an report his asap

  12. Kimberly says:

    This is why I won’t let my husband get a gun. I’m pretty sure he would have shot him. Who uses a phone book anymore?

  13. MommaMary says:

    I’m sorry you were frightened, but I was laughing at your story, not you. I love your writing.

  14. That’s definately a good laugh. Covert phone book delivery huh? 🙂

  15. I agree with the other ladies, I would be calling the phone company right now. What is it we tell our children, “unacceptable behavior”. Not funny at all! Do not think you were over reacting either. You just don’t know anymore. I too live in an area where you don’t have to lock up everything, but that is quickly changing. I am just glad that you are okay.

  16. I would’ve freaked out too. OMG! I agree that you should call the phone company. I’ve seen some pretty creepy guys delivering these books as well. I live in california. Until I saw that they were dropping off phone books I thought they were staking out people’s apts to see if they were home.
    That’s why I’m always telling my neice if you hear a knock or bang never open the door. There’s so many weirdos that you never know if it’s someone you can trust or someone who wants to rob you. I’m also glad you’re ok.

  17. Sandy VanHoey says:

    Oh my gosh! I was picturing this happening to me while i’m with my grandson. They need to have a talk with people they hire to deliver their phone books. That is horrible and in these times, we cannot be too careful. So glad everything turned out ok but I’d have been scared to death also.

  18. paige jagan says:

    Oh, i would have been in a panic too, glad you are ok, and kinda funny maybe after the fact, but during, definitely scary!

  19. Mary Beth Elderton says:

    Wow! No that was not the way to deliver phone books! I think that the assumption on some people’s part is that no one is at home during the day. Yesterday, I heard an odd sound on my back porch, one that scared me. It turned out to be packages delivered via UPS! My regular UPS guy knows I am home, so this must have been a fill-in. Still–he didn’t even knock on the front door before setting things down–over a waist high railing, to put them on the porch.

  20. Robin Quick says:

    I would have freaked to! What I cant believe is 911 put you on hold! WTH? Seriously?

  21. How creepy- the guy who delivered the books here this year were in the white stalker van (2 of them) and looked like the typical perv- I got hubs and have 4 dogs, so wasn’t scared, but I imagine if I was alone I would have been. Good thinking to call 911, but really, on hold? UGH. Glad you guys were okay.

  22. ROFL This is like something that would happen to me. Also, I am always shocked when I see phone books – who uses those anymore? LOL

  23. You are right! You made me laugh. I’m glad it was nothing but it sure does make me uneasy thinking I could get put on hold for 911 :\.

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